The Soulmatch Review

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ChristianDatesOnline.com was created as a resource for Christian singles looking for Christian dating services online. We sign-up for every dating service listed on this site, review it and report what we find.

Summary: A quick look at what we liked best

• Sign-up kept us interested with intriguing and unexpected questions
• Soulmatch offers a fresh approach to Christian dating
• Nice, clean, user-friendly interface
  

Detail: The Soulmatch Sign-up Details

Below you'll find a complete description of our experience signing-up for the Soulmatch dating service. But first, an overview of Beliefnet's Soulmatch dating service.

Service Overview

Soulmatch comes at online dating from different direction than eHarmony and match.com, two of the industry leaders. Like its competitors, Soulmatch has extensive questionnaires that do a good job narrowing you into a segmented population. Their angle, however, is that they base their matching criteria on spiritual chemistry, a philosophy that focuses on a person's characters and beliefs as opposed to the competition's tendency to favor physical attributes.

Soulmatch places particular emphasis on shared values, spiritual orientation, optimism, tolerance and appreciation for others' beliefs.

Instead of relying completely on scientific algorithms (like eHarmony), Soulmatch lets the user do most of the work finding good matches. Don't get me wrong, they do a great job of showing you the most compatible matches, but because they're less stringent on matching criteria, you're open to more possibilities.

The last thing I'll mention before I get into the sign-up is the Soulmatch Values Code. This is perhaps the most compelling reason why Soulmatch is such an appropriate option for Christians. It's an extensive Values Code, feel free to check it out on their site, but basically it's an agreement between you and Soulmatch. You agree to be honest and genuine and to treat everyone with respect. In return, Soulmatch will do the best job possible to ensure that their network stays clean, safe and highly effective at helping you find your soul match. Visit the Soulmatch Christian dating service review.

The Sign-up Process

Whether you decide to join Soulmatch as a paid member, or want to try the service for free, you'll have to start by creating a free profile. From the home page, you'll tell Soulmatch that you are a "man" seeking a "woman;" give them an e-mail address; create a password; fill-in your city, state and zip code; and input your birthday. Click the "go" button.

Now you're registered, and it's time to create your profile. They'll give you a few tips for creating a winning profile before you take the plunge. Their tips include picking a unique name that will standout; being honest, fun and thorough; and post up to eight photos because more photos mean more possibilities.

The "About Me" Section - All About You

The About Me - Basics section has 13 questions on two pages (12 on the first page, 1 on the second). In this section, you'll create a profile name (mine's Bee Killer from my name, Blake Killian), and answer demographic questions.

Page 2 of 2 in this section is where they ask about your religion/spiritual approach. I feel it's important to mention that all of the questions have a "leave blank" option just in case you're not sure, or aren't ready to answer certain questions. (I left plenty of questions blank). Visit the Soulmatch Christian dating service review.

The About Me - Values section has 11 questions on two pages (6 on the first page, 5 on the second). In this section, you'll start to define who you are by the way you describe yourself. They'll ask you about the traits that best describe you; what you believe in; political leanings; and an interesting section on the 7 deadly sins. (Although I found this interesting, I left these questions blank).

Page 2 of 2 in this section lists 5 questions that are all optional, meaning you can skip them if you feel the process is running a little long. You can always answer them later.

Visit the Soulmatch Christian dating service review.

The About Me - Personality section has 15 questions on two pages (7 on the first page, 8 on the second). In this section, you'll answer fun and conversational questions about yourself and about how you act in certain social situations. You'll see questions that pertain to your sense of humor; your relationship to your cell phone; your job; how you deal with problems; and more personality traits.

Page 2 of 2 in this section lists 8 questions that are what I like to call a "check all, free for all." What I mean by this is that here you'll encounter a series of questions where you're allowed to check "all that apply." This is clearly where the bulk of your matching criteria will come from, so make the decision here whether you want a lot of possibilities or not as many. This is a very general series of questions about arts, culture, hobbies, sports, etc. Visit the Soulmatch Christian dating service review.

The last section about you lists 8 questions about spirituality. 1 through 5 are quick to answer, and 6 through 8 are optional. At any point in the sign-up process you can choose to save & close if you find that it's taking too long. However, if you've made it this far, you don't have too far to go.

The "What You Are Looking For" Section - All About Them

You've told Soulmatch all about you, now you have to tell them about who you are looking for.

There are three sections, just like the About Me sections. There are 14 Basics questions, 5 Beliefs & Values questions, and 5 Personality questions. After you've answered these, the last thing you'll do is create a headline for your profile. You're done!

Online dating: Easy?

By Emily Brown

Potomac News

Monday, June 13, 2005

Thousands of uncreative personal ads, dozens of first dates, one three-month relationship, but still, Aaron Tax believes in dating online.

“Just like the real world, it’s a crapshoot,” said Tax, 29, a lawyer in Washington, D.C.

Online dating emerged during the Internet boom of the late 1990s and survived and evolved into niche communities. Today, millions of searching singles can find a friend, a date, a significant other or a spouse at sites that let users hunt by ethnicity, religion, region, sexual preference and age.

“Ethnicity, culture, those things are still important enough to people. They want to make that the first cut,” Tax said.

He’s used JDate.com, a site for Jewish singles, and online personals through The Onion, a satirical news source, on and off for about two years. Dating online is an opportunity to be pickier, he said. He’s had six friends get engaged since December, after meeting online. Even when relationships haven’t worked out romantically, users have the opportunity to acquire new friends.

“You can finely tune your search and find someone with similar interests easier than find someone at a bar or on the street,” Tax said.

FriendFinder.com, which launched in 1996 has more than 20 million members across its distinct sites: GermanFriendFinder.com, SeniorFriendFinder.com, BigChurch.com (a Christian dating service), Amigos.com, FilipinoFriendFinder.com and GayFriendFinder.com to name a few.

“You can really find anyone you’re looking for,” said Tim Chanaud, public relations manager at FriendFinder Inc.

Members on Amigos.com and FilipinoFriendFinder.com are very focused on marriage, he said, while SeniorFriendFinder.com users have different goals in mind.

“They’re looking for companionship, friendship,” he said. "They’re looking for an opportunity to be part of a network of friends or a community around the world.”

The sites grow steadily, Chanaud said, because people become increasingly comfortable using the Internet for things that were once reserved for the offline world.

“People are integrating the Internet with their lives and looking for ways to connect and create communities,” he said.

Toni Coleman, a relationship coach and psychotherapist from McLean, said singles don’t have the social network they once had because people are more transient.

“That has a direct impact on how we meet people,” she said.
Dating online grew out of singles groups and personal ads, and just as those became socially acceptable, so has cyber romance, she said. “And really, for very practical reasons.”

The stigmas have subsided and dating online does not make people look desperate, she said. Younger singles are very accepting of using the global community to find love, and retired people become more technologically savvy through computer courses.

“They’re really looking for a soul mate and very often looking for someone of a similar background,” Coleman said.

Maansi Kashyap, a spokeswoman for People Group, which launched the India-based Shaadi.com, said marrying within a similar culture is vital in many South Asian countries.

Shaadi, which means marriage in Hindi, targets a demographic serious about finding a spouse, she said. On the site, users can search for a mate by country, religion or community, such as Bengali, Hindi and Punjabi.

Most members are in India, she said, but users from other countries, who can be of any background and nationality, are growing daily.

“Within India we have so many different ethnic backgrounds and different religious backgrounds it’s important to be able to narrow down what you’re looking for,” Kashyap said.

Each community can have a different language, customs and diet.

“It just makes it a better search engine,” she said.

But Tax said potential mates could look perfect online, but not hold up in person.

“Just like life, it’s random,” Tax said. “You can only narrow down things so much.”

Staff writer Emily Brown can be reached at (703) 878-4650.

This story can be found at: http://www.potomacnews.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=WPN/MGArticle/WPN_BasicArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1031783258536&path=

OPW Exclusive Interview #4 - PerfectMatch's CEO

OPW CEO Interview -- June 1 -- Duane Dahl is CEO of Perfect Match and the former CEO of Kiss.com and Udate, which were acquired by Match.com/IAC. Perfect Match is eHarmony's most direct competitor. It's the only other top tier dating site that requires all it's users take a personality test. - Mark Brooks

How is Perfect Match different from eHarmony?
Dr. Neil Warren has done some excellent things within the Christian ministry and his Christian oriented publications. However, he doesn't hold a candle to our Dr. Pepper Schwartz. We've made Dr. Schwartz available and accessible to our PerfectMatch.com members, which we believe is key. Neil, on the other hand, is a spokesperson who appears on TV and that's all he is. Our vision has been to leverage experience and expertise for the good of our members through several Dr. Schwartz vehicles: Her Q&A, chat, monthly column, etc. Also, we do not condone exclusionary practices. I think people want to know how people are being matched. People are starting to question the matching. If you're going to discriminate, you need to be up front and disclose why you're discriminating.

How does your matching philosophy differ from eHarmony?
Transparency is the key. eHarmony has a black box approach. We’ve worked very hard to create a matching algorithm that members can actually use, benefit from and work to their advantage. Take a look at the True.com test. They contracted doctors to come up with a test. It's a good test on a poor site. We want to put our members in a position to impact results. We encourage our members to review results of their tests and identify with those they had relationships with in the past, so they can get an idea of who would be a good match for them in the future. Also, wouldn't it be nice, while users are waiting for their matches, for them to be able to search the database freely? On PerfectMatch.com that’s a highly prized option. On eHarmony, you just wait for someone else to decide your future.

What are your thoughts on the progression of matching technology?
It's still very, very early days in the business. I think the business has grown so quickly, the technology hasn't been able to keep up. As the space evolves, it's going to become more specialized...more member centric. We make sure every single one of our members has the ability to have their profile reviewed on the site. There are millions of members who don't quite get it and they need assistance. So, we have a comprehensive 10 point review, from photo selection to the content in their profiles. This review is available with our standard membership. It's very important to make sure the membership is educated and someone takes the time to teach them what works and doesn't work. We've developed our own leading-edge technology to have our member services team review all profiles. We're constantly reinforcing to our membership 'they're not alone here.' A few years back we saw a Jupiter report and most online personals members were on three or four sites. The reason? They don't really know how to use online dating. They're just going to three or four 'bars' at different times of the week. We're making sure our members can leverage the vast experience we have, and greatly increase their odds of success.

Do you really think you can trounce eHarmony?
I have no doubt. For us, my team got back into the space so we can compete and win. We are actively seeking out partners. Every time we compete with eHarmony on a proposed deal, we win. Sitting back and looking at it, why are we winning? We're not spending more money. We are, however, willing to go beyond traditional ads and be creative. Major brands will not work with eHarmony in this regard. If I can be in situations head-to-head for business development, I love that. Christian content is just not mainstream. We look forward to crushing eHarmony.

eHarmony doesn't favor webcams? Does PerfectMatch favor them?
A few years ago we thought webcam usage would ramp pretty quickly. One of the difficulties is the inability to audit what is going on in a community. This is why many sites have struggled. The same goes with recorded video. We just don't have time to review it all. Also, when we work so hard to build a brand, the last thing we want is a someone uploading inappropriate content.

eHarmony excludes homosexuals. What’s PerfectMatch’s position on homosexuals?
We never have and never will judge our members. We built a community to allow people to find sincere relationships, so of course, we allow individuals to pursue same sex relationships. I find eHarmony's exclusion of homosexuals almost as appalling as the notion of them excluding people who've been married a couple of times...because the assumption is they never will be happy in a relationship. To me, it’s absolutely laughable for some 70-year-old guy, who is sitting on the king’s throne in Pasadena, to judge men and women in this culture in such a way. Relationships go bad. But, that doesn't mean these people are not worthy of ultimately finding love. It's really ridiculous.

What does the future hold?
We're very excited for the online relationship and dating spaces. Some exciting things are happening at both sites. Dating sites like Yahoo Personals and Match, but we're still troubled with True's approach, though. We would like them to get away from the business of having to use suggestive female photos to drive members. I think that hurts both the dating and relationships space. We remain very committed and excited about the future. We’re there to compete and win. And, when we win, our members will win, by finding that special person.

Mark Brooks: After the interview Duane gave me a heads up on the following upcoming Dr Phil show...

"Finding Your PerfectMatch, June 3rd on Dr. Phil Dr. Phil wants to help make some love connections! Along with PerfectMatch.com, he's setting the entire studio audience up with their "perfect match!" Then, he kicks off "The Dating Game" ... Dr. Phil style! See what happens when Bree, who's been unlucky in love, quizzes three bachelors who are supposedly right for her and then chooses her man. And, Dr. Phil sends two singles on a date that will test their true compatibility ... as future parents. If you haven't met the partner of your dreams, find out what you could be doing wrong."

Mark Brooks interviews PerfectMatch

Mark Brooks has posted an interview with PerfectMatch CEO Duane Dahl. Dahl is focusing his efforts in recent media attention on downplaying Eharmony. Picking out a competitor may have been a smart marketing decision but going one-on-one in an industry blog doesn't do it for me. I know far too much about both companies to drink that Cool-Aid.

Duane thinks PM can trounce Eharmony. I'm not so sure. He got his team back together very late in the game, although I think their deals in print and tv have been heads above what everyone else is doing. PM gets marketing online dating better than everyone else except Eharmony.

Everyone in the industry is too busy pointing fingers at True on television and in front of congress-people yet remain mute about Eharmony. Eharmony just loves the fact that their practices continue to fly under the public radar while they continue to add members. I'm surprised that a competitor has not launched an investigation on PrimeTime or 20/20 or 60 Minutes.

As much as I have a problem with some of Eharmony's exclusionary tactics, I'm beginning to appreciate that they do the heavy lifting for members. The thought of using a dating site search engine from any company is frustrating. The differentiators are too great, the algorithms different and the results from a direct comparison between services impossible to measure in a meaningful way.

As long as Eharmony is clear and up front about the demographics it caters to, I don't care what that demographic are and neither should the industry. The problem is that Eharmony has so much traction now that pretty soon they will reach the tipping point and then they can choose to do something like partner with a site that caters to the demographics they're not interested in and make even more money.

Christian dating is emerging as the next big demographic shift to online dating. Lot's of new services and alliances will be announced soon. Interesting point,

I spoke with a woman yesterday who said she was afraid that she was not Jewish enough for JDate. How can that be?

The June 3rd PerfectMatch/Dr. Phil promotion should be interesting to watch for the entertainment value if anything else. Definitely a Red state kind of show as PM skews to the older female audience. Not going to find PM on AskMen.com.

Dahl hired Dr. Pepper Schwartz, who is just as much a spokesmodel for PM as Dr. Warren is for Eharmony, regardless. If Ben Afflec started promoting True.com as a member, the site would go ballistic. When it comes to subscriptions, people don't know about the "back end" of the service, all they see is the person in the advertising. PM does a good job promoting how sensitive, caring and feel-good the service is up front. They're definitely on to something.

PM has a 10-point plan for helping members make the most of the service. That's good to see and reinforces that the industry is not doing nearly enough to work with their memebers. Online dating is a subscription-based business, the customer service will never be personalized enough. That's why E-cyrano and ProfileDoctor and PersonalsTrainer all exist, to address the needs of the date warehouses in ways they never will be able to.

How much use to members get from monthly advice columns at sites like Date.info, PM and Match? Yahoo has made inroads but doesn't have a real "face" to the service yet.

Notice how Dahl doesn't mention anything about Jose Bisset, the spokesperson they hired a few months ago. Whatever happened to her? Must have been the Italian porn movie she was in.

I do not understand why dating sites think they have to review each and every video or audio clip. Why not come up with a rating system and let people tag their video themselves?

PM could do a deal with one of the review sites like TrustDater and let people flag and rate other people's videos. Inexpensive, easy to implement and further strengthens the sense of community on a site, which is all but non-existent at the moment except for scary chat rooms.

Obviously there are issues here with inappropriate behavior but someday videos are going to be the primary way we are introduced to people online. Just like with VCR tapes in the 80's but this time with streaming media.

Overall a luke-warm interview. Nothing earth-shattering, just Dahl plugging away at his chosen competitor.

eHarmony uses scientific methods and expert guidance

eHarmony.com is not your father's dating service. eHarmony knows that the typical online dating service requests that visitors fill out a personality profile with information about interests, past history and preferences in the type of mate a person is seeking. eHarmony seems to have figured out that with most online dating services, the photograph is often the most important--if not the only--part of the screening process. eHarmony differs from online dating services in that eHarmony matches you with someone who is compatible not just on the surface, but also in "the deep and important ways that truly matter in a relationship." eHarmony uses proven matching technology based on research done by Dr. Neil Clark Warren that helps singles find the right person. The eHarmony online dating service features matching based on Christian principles, dating with the goal of a serious relationship and the desire to see singles fall in love for all the right reasons.

eHarmony states that consumers spent $313 million in 2003 on U.S.-based dating Web sites alone. eHarmony claims four million registered users. Due to their unique approach to matching, eHarmony has become the Internet's fastest growing online dating service. The proposition that more Internet users are beginning to use online dating services like eHarmony is not hard to believe. It seems that everyone knows someone who has met and eventually married someone via an online dating service, whether eHarmony or another. In fact, the writer of this review met and married his match via an online dating service :)

Visit the official eharmony.com site for the most up to date eharmony info.

Those 30 and older can find love by getting out there

By Emily Berry
Anderson Independent-Mail
June 1, 2005

Whether at a pub or in a pew, finding love in Anderson isn't as hard as it might seem.

It's true even for folks who can clearly recall the Reagan Administration and remember life before everyone had a DVD player and a computer at home.

There are more than 54,000 single, divorced, widowed or separated adults living in Anderson County by the last census count in 2000. That number includes a lot of people who are 35 and older - no longer kids, but with the time and desire for companionship.

Anderson, like any town, can be stiflingly boring for a single person, or a friendly, fun-filled town, depending on whom you ask.

Sylvia Lollis, 56, lost her husband two years ago, and said she was worried when she first started to emerge from grief that she wouldn't be able to meet anyone her age.

"I was quite surprised really there were that many people my age in Anderson, because I was thinking, 'There's not going to be anyone in their 50s.' Unfortunately so many other people have lost their mates through cancer or some other disease that there are lots of people out there," she said.

Ms. Lollis has been successful in dating and in having a good time as a single person. She tested the waters by first joining a Greenville-based matchmaking service, but she said in her experience, the best place to meet people was through friends.

She has joined the Electric City Shag Club and regularly goes to Andrew's Private Club to dance and hang out with friends.

"I guess, to me, I've been very lucky to meet really nice professional people who have the same interests and goals in life," she said.

Like his fellow Shag club member, golf pro Dick Byrd, 69, has enjoyed singlehood in Anderson. He moved here in 2001 from Ohio and shortly thereafter was divorced. Since becoming a bachelor, he has been enjoying a lot of time in the company of women.

"There seems to be a lot of single ladies here," he said. Like Ms. Lollis, he described himself as outgoing, and said he had no trouble meeting other single people his age.

"I think it's pretty easy to be single here. It's kind of what you make of it," he said.

Not everyone finds it quite so simple.

Michele Copeland, 33, lives in Pelzer and works in Greenville. She finds herself heading to Greenville with girlfriends when she does have the time to be social, but that is not all that often, since she is caring for her 4-year-old daughter as a single mother.

Her priorities and needs are different now because of being a single mother, and because she no longer has the time or energy to stay up all night partying.

"Once you get older, 9 o'clock, you're ready to go to bed," she said.

She said she'd like to meet a nice, Christian man who would help raise her daughter and wants to have more children. That hasn't been easy, she said.

"There's not much to do in Anderson," she said. "Most of my friends are not single. It's kind of hard me being the only one."

Ms. Copeland said she won't consider going online to try to find someone to date.

"I just heard too many horror stories," she said.

Her hesitancy was echoed by other singles who said they prefer to meet people at a bar or restaurant rather than over the Web, which can cloak a person's true personality.

Dixie Benca, owner of McGee's Irish Pub, has watched several couples meet at her pub and eventually marry. She said the informal yet safe environment of a bar like McGee's is preferable to a lot of people to trying to reach out to strangers online.

Steve Patterson, a single man who is also owner of Andrew's Private club, agreed. He said he has no worries about the Web taking a bite out of his business.

"The Internet is changing things, but people still like to meet on neutral ground, and meeting somebody to have a drink is probably safest for both parties," he said.

Both he and Mrs. Benca said they believe there's opportunity in Anderson to meet people, even if it takes initiative.

"Anderson is a well-rounded town now. There are lots of things to do with recreational areas, we have clubs to go to," Mr. Patterson said. "Anderson's a good place to be a single person. But you have to work at it a little."

For those overwhelmed by the prospect of meeting strangers and screening potential dates, the Web can be a safer, if initially anonymous, place to start. Some Web sites have succeeded in getting past the perception that the Internet is a dangerous place to meet people.

Popular online dating service eHarmony, created by psychologist Neil Warren, matches people based on an extensive profile that purports to match people based on core values.

There are 80,000 eHarmony members in South Carolina, and 40,000 in the Designated Media Area that includes Asheville, Spartanburg, Greenville and Anderson, company Senior Vice President Marylyn Warren said.

Most of the site's members are between the ages of 25 and 45, she said, but eHarmony tries to cater to all age groups with the same principle of matching based on values.

"Those of us who are older, no one ever gave us any kind of guidance as we were reaching the age that we might consider marrying. It's nice to have some guidelines instead of just, 'if you've got a tickle in your tummy and you really like the guy,'" she said.

The same thing applies when it comes to meeting outside of cyberspace.

The search for other singles with common values often leads singles to look around their congregation for love, or to stumble upon it there. Anderson's churches are no exception, and in many cases, pastors are glad to see it happen.

"I've read the statistics. A lot of people think the number one place to meet somebody would be a bar. I happen to think the benefit to when you meet somebody at church, you're going to have the same convictions and similar values," New Spring Community Church pastor Perry Noble said.

With the right mindset and an open mind, it's very possible to find love in the Electric City and beyond.

That's proven true for Mary McCormac. After her fiance died last year, she had a hard time entering single life again.

"Now it's a lot better. At first, it's really weird. It's really strange," she said. "People look at you like they're afraid to talk to you."

Now she relies on her friends to help her find men to date, because they know her best.

Like Sylvia Lollis, Ms. McCormac is settling into a happy single life after an abrupt and painful entrance.

"People in Anderson really are just good as gold," Ms. Lollis said. " They want to see you be successful and be happy and have that companionship."

Copyright 2005, Anderson Independent Mail. All Rights Reserved.