Matchmaker of Maine, make me a match

Tom Rochester once heard a great analogy for why people need the service he offers.

"You need plumbing work done, you go to a plumber," he said, recounting what a former client once told him. "You're looking for the right person, you go to a matchmaker."

Sounds pretty obvious, doesn't it? But most singles don't consider a dating service to be an option for them. There's been a kind of "Fiddler on the Roof," Yente stigma (remember, "Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match/Find me a find/Catch me a catch"?) or the perception that matchmaking is something only practiced by orthodox religions.

Not so, according to Rochester, a Rockport native who runs the Portland-based Matchmaker of Maine along with his wife, Noreen, who is from Old Orchard Beach. As reservations and taboos about Internet dating are being broken, so are those about matchmaking.

The Rochesters opened their doors five years ago. They have a Web site, www.thematchmakerofmaine.com.

"It's been around forever, but I think people are really coming back to it now," Tom Rochester said recently. "People are discovering that it's for everyone."

The Rochesters claim a 90 percent success rate, but that depends on what one considers success. Some of the clients they've hooked up are in steady relationships, others are married. In fact, the couple received invitations to six weddings in one month last summer.

The Rochesters got into matchmaking after making major job changes. Noreen was working in the court system and Tom was a youth and family counselor. Noreen had always loved to set people up and was so well-known for her matchmaking abilities that she was often approached by strangers who had heard of her, so they decided to go into business.

The Rochesters met, by the way, through mutual friends.

The matchmaking process starts with a free, in-depth interview that can last up to two hours. In that time, Tom and Noreen determine what kind of person their client is looking for, and what kind of people would be interested in the client.

Once the Rochesters find a potential match, they contact both parties and proceed if there's a mutual interest. They'll even go to the initial meeting to help break the ice.

The cost ranges from $275 for an introductory membership to up to $575 for a year of unlimited introductions.

Yes, it sounds pricey compared to Internet dating services, like the ever-popular www.match.com. Match.com can cost $30 per month or $77.94 for a six-month subscription.

But with the Rochesters' service, you get a face-to-face meeting with a matchmaker who can read a client's personality and get to know what they're looking for. They also host singles events that are included in their fee.

Plus, the matchmakers do all the weeding-out for you. With online dating services, you're sent a long list of people who share certain traits with you, like how many pets you have and whether you're "spiritual but not religious" but mostly just share a ZIP code. There's not much there about whether you're outgoing and seeking someone who's the same, or you want someone who's ambitious or more laid back.

"Noreen and I are both good with people," Tom said of the benefits of the personal interview. "We get a good sense of what someone is looking for."

And the Rochesters perform background checks that take away a lot of the uncertainty of the Internet. The top complaint I hear from friends who have tried Internet dating is that people tend to lie on their profiles, and there's no way to tell if their "match" is maybe married, or has done prison time, or really has the job he or she says they have.

"A lot of attention has been paid to the whole field lately," Tom said. "I think because of the Internet people have been less intimidated to go to a dating service and are more willing to do this. But we also see a lot of people who are totally burned out on the Internet."

Based on some of the prices quoted in a recent Christian Science Monitor story, the Rochesters are a downright bargain. Some matchmakers charge $1,000 for their services, while celebrity matchmaker Samantha Daniels, who was the basis for the TV show "Miss Match" starring Alicia Silverstone, charges $10,000, according to the article.

Tom Rochester said their main client base is singles in their 40s, with 30 being the young end of the age group and 60 being the high end. About 50 percent of their clients are divorced, most have advanced education degrees and the majority are successful in their careers but aren't interested in the bar scene.

Most of Matchmaker of Maine's clients are based in southern Maine, although the Rochesters have met clients from Bangor and Bar Harbor. They're thinking of opening an office in Portsmouth, N.H., and have been thinking about another outpost in Maine, possibly Bangor, in addition to the Portland office.

If you go, don't expect to find anything close to "Fiddler's" Yente.

"There still is a stigma about going to a dating service," Tom Rochester said. "But this is an effective, personal way to meet someone."

Jessica Bloch can be reached at jbloch@bangordailynews.net.